struggling

So one of my husbands friends told me I would feel better if I wrote about what I was going threw. I didn't believe him but now I am thinking he might be right.
My father in law is in the final stages of Lung cancer, he he no longer eating, drinking, or talking. He will only take his pain medications and nothing else. It is the worst feeling in the world to not be able to help my husband right now.
One of us has to stay with Riley cuz he doesn't need to be around for this, which makes this so much harder. Riley cash will never know this wonderful man who is his paw*paw. Riley and Ronnie have this bond. Its been there from the day Riley was born. I can't explain it but to this day Riley sees pictures of paw*paw and gets a smile on his face.
And I feel so bad for jay words can't explain how bad I feel for him. I can't imagine watching your father die. And not having anything to be able to help with. My heart aches to not know what to say or do. Its awful. I feel like I am not doing enough for him. He says I am but ya know I still feel bad.
I just wish this wasn't happening but I know it is.. Life isn't fair and this is fraking sucky!

I just have a quick note... I interviewed for a promotion last week at work I didn't really think I would get it because there were 4 other people going for the same spot..but yesterday i found out that I got it!! Whoo-00 I am excited but sad because have to leave my "people" and go to a new office but it will be ok.. :-)
Oh yes and I get to see my favorite Long Beach resident this weekend!! My sister!! Whoo-oo so excited we are going to be there for valentines day ( how romantic huh?) But i am super exicted!!

Happy Anniversary to me and my hubby!! 3 years whoo-oo!
I love my hubby and I am so glad that I found him, and kept him!! He's a total keeper ( we make the cutest kids!) and I love him very very very much!
He has been my rock for this past year which hasn't been all that great and I don't know what I would do without him. At the end of each day I know that when I pull in the drive way there he will be waiting for me with a smile on his face and a kiss to say hello! I love coming home to him, some days (most days) I wish I could wake up to his face every day but that's another story.
I love that he spoils me rotten, I got flowers yesterday at work and he made all the ladies jealous,I love him for letting me complain, I love him for letting me ask for more babies all the time even though I know we have a "plan". I love him for being who he is each and every day.
I love my hubby!
Happy 3 years!