Worst Day of My Life

Worst Day of My Life
I don't know if I should write this or not..but I am going too..So as most of you know my sister's son passed away almost 2 weeks ago. It's been one of the worst times of my life. That day that I got the call from Scott was the worst day of my entire life. All I could think about was my sister sitting in this room.. and not having her Clayton. I can't even tell you how my heart broken at the very minute. She is my best friend and for her to have this happen is just not fair. I have gone threw every emotion in the book, mad, sad, gulity.. you name it I have felt it. I just can't even imagine what she is going through. I know that I can't make her better, and I think that is what hurts the most. I can not make my sister feel better, I can't take her pain away and most of all I can't give her Clayton.
I hurt so bad that she is in so much pain. I cry alot when no one is around because I just want my sister to have her chance to be the great mommy that I know that she can be. I get so mad when people say "oh maybe there is a reason this happened" umm there is NO GOOD reason why this happened. Nothing you tell me will make this ok. I also can't stand when people say oh maybe she should be doing this instead. I really want to hurt those people. I want to turn around and scream in there face, have you ever had your baby boy die? No, so shut the f-bomb up!
I miss Clayton too, I was so excited to be his Aunt, and to know this little guy that I had been talking to for the last 9 months. I was ready to spoil that little boy rotten just like my sister spoils Riley. Jessica is the best Aunt on the planet to that little guy, and I wanted to be just like my sister! It's just not fair!! I cant even tell anyone how bad my heart is broken for my sister. I just want to hold her, and tell her it will be ok, but I don't know if it will be ok.
So that's my rant..I needed to get it out..
I miss you little Clayton Andrew Reed!